Shadow side of Christmas

It is the season to be Joyful and be giving and loving and so on and so on… 

And yes, I am totally for all of that!! I love celebrating the return of the light at the Winter Solstice and usually have a big YAY!!! written in my diary on the 21st of December! 💖

I enjoy the get-togethers, the connection with friends and family when possible (even if it is only virtual for now) over the Christmas season and it brings so much joy. 

BUT, today I want to bring into the light… the Shadow side of Christmas… 

Yes… the shadow side… and it is not about being a bah humbug at all… 

but more so about all those unspoken and unexpressed feelings that are covered and shrowded by gift-buying, baubles, lights, tinsel and copious amount of food and alcohol… 

If I was to ask you what was your childhood story about Christmas? What is the first memory that pops up? 

It may be a really happy and joyful memory, or it could be the time when you really wanted a gift, and you got the downgraded version, because your family couldn’t afford it… maybe leaving a lasting impression, that you deserve only “knock-offs” or “second-best”

But apart from the MOTHERLOAD of emotions wrapped up in gift-giving and receiving, there can be real feelings of anxiety or emotional distress for a lot of people during Christmas. 

Some parents want to give their kids the Christmasses they never had as a child, or they could try and LIVE up to the Christmasses they had as a child… never quite accomplishing it, and feeling like a failure or that they are “not good enough” as a parent, because deep down they always felt like they could never live up to their parent's expectations anyway… 

And goodness…. talking about expectations… the perceived expectations of others, of ourselves, meeting family once again over the festive season, and still not having fulfilled that dream they have for you or you have for yourself…

Now, I am not trying to bring a downer on your Christmas at all… merely trying to bring some of the gunk that is under the surface anyway to the light. Because you see, once they are in the light, we can acknowledge them being there, be aware of our trigger points and choose to respond instead of reacting. 

But most of all, be gentle with yourself during the Silly Season… be loving and compassionate to your inner child, who is looking forward to Christmas and always feel disappointed. Be loving and kind to the part in you that wants to make it really special for your kids and they are not appreciating it… they will never know what it was really like for you… but you do, so make it special for you! 

I know this is only scratching the surface of the tonnes of emotions and feelings that lurk under the surface for us, during Christmas time. 

Many feel excluded, lonely or disconnected from family. This was a pretty rough year for many businesses, so this year might not be as abundant as before, and that is okay. Lay off the pressure of it needing to be perfect, and enjoy everything and everyone that ARE there… 

You are doing your best, You are amazing. Make memories this season, that you would love and treasure in years to come. 

If you are having a hard time emotionally during this time of the year… please know you are not alone. And this too shall pass… Reach out to and connect with someone you trust… Give the gift of kindness and compassion to yourself this season. 

#christmas #shadow #kindness #compassion